Returned

4/14/12

some stories 

are personal

like being alone
on the mountain
in the night sky

darkness holding still
in the cool night air

not once
did i wish for you
in the stillness

i had company enough
in the kind of quiet
that helps you 

remember
yourself

so my roots
spread out
and i stood firm
in the holy ground
of my humanness

it was like this

a fullness
almost opposite
loneliness

and i had 

no longing
for leaving

for i had run 

far enough
to be returned 

to myself

One Year After Settlement

(This will likely be my last blog entry about the mountains. Thanks for following. love )

It's been a year since the water suit settled.  I didn't really write about it at the time because there was a lot to process and it was important to be mindful of potential effects on the case.

While the outcome was a success, settling a case doesn't really mean justice was served.  It means the company admits no fault but agrees to pay the plaintiff anyway.  It also means that both parties compromise on what they believe to be a reasonable settlement amount with the goal of both of them feeling like they had to give up more than they wanted to.  

My dream ending to the case would have included a ruling that forced the company to admit their negligence and set a legal precedent towards people never be poisoned by coal slurry again in addition to forcing them to take a bigger financial hit for the crime inflicted on these communities.

Although, there is a big part of me that was hoping for a more dramatic win I still have to count this a good start on the road to protecting families and communities.  For every case that goes to court, there are a whole lot more folks whose coal horror stories never make it into a courtroom.  

The bravery of the communities of Merrimac, Lick Creek and Rawl, who were poisoned and took on Massey coal with a small legal staff, stands in and of itself as a victory.  Also, the stamina of the clients and the staff serving the case is a testimony to human perseverance. The whole thing took 7 years to get to the moment where a settlement was reached and another year of processing before folks would even see any compensation for their case.  

There where many other victories along the way, starting with wining the legal battle which got folks off of their contaminated well water and onto municipal water.  The first judge banned the injection of slurry in Mingo County, and this case likely influenced a moratorium on slurry injection in the state. 

Additionally, medical monitoring was awarded, which provides screening for the illnesses folks are at a higher risk for due to their exposure to the contaminated water.   This program will serve epidemiological purposes, finding trends in the health of the community, which will give great insight into the effects of the toxic slop of chemicals and heavy metals on the human body.  No such research exists yet, and we have yet to discover just how many other communities have been subjected to similar circumstances.

On a different note, coming out on the other side of working with a legal staff doing the hard work of taking on environmental cases in coal country, I have to say while good still stands strong, I understand evil with a new sense of grandeur and complexity.  It may be no secret to you but it was news to me that actual willfully evil people exist.  They do bad things, they understand their impact and they don't care as long as they come out on the upswing.  Then there are the insurance companies and defense lawyers that hide behind their jobs and working for the "good" of their clients in service to horrors and atrocities.  It really was like the movies where the bad guys are actually, well bad, rather than misguided or misunderstood.  

A friend of mine thought it was hilarious it has taken me this long to figure out that this side of humanity is real and not a movie portrayal.  So I'm still adjusting to the understanding that the better side of something doesn't always exist and there isn't necessarily any reward for attempting to understand people who deliberately harm other people.  I guess in this case the only better side to bad people is that good people are just as real, way more wonderful and continue to stand for what is right.

In other news, lawyers serving the people need more financial support.  They do not have coal money to line their pockets with and the people they serve are often economically poor.  Big companies can kill cases simply by holding them up for so long in court that the lawyers working the cases go bankrupt.  While this is a dramatic statement it's actually reality, like the fact that bad people exist.

If you’d like to help protect communities in West Virginia please consider donating to The Ohio Valley Environmental Coalition (OVEC) http://ohvec.org/join/index.html#donate, Keeper of the Mountains http://mountainkeeper.blogspot.com/p/donate.html and/or Appalshop https://npo1.networkforgood.org/Donate/Donate.aspx?npoSubscriptionId=10058.  I am recommending these organizations because I know people who work there or people who have worked with them recommended them to me.  Basically I know they are doing good work.  

The Space Between

Dedicated to Jenny Hudson and Nick Getsen

It's hard not to make all the stories of triumphs and tragedies.
But then you will miss the weevils in the flour
that Jenny and I  built our friendship on
cleaning every kitchen cabinet.

The part where I set the kitchen towel on fire
will be left out
it did not really burn much of consequence
and the smoke did not spread far enough.

The marathon of anime will be cut
because our laughter
was not loud enough.

The flees may make it in though
they just might
but the rats will steal the show.

If you only get the highs and the lows,
the lulls of silence will be absent.
The secret prayers will be missing.

It's the space in between
that gets us where we're going.
We build the triumphs
in our silent time
and rest our struggles
on the pillows in the living room.

Those cushions carry our stories
more gently then the mines or the mountains.
They speak only of comfort.

Working Remotely

I have been working for the firm remotely--calling clients to get medical records from Baltimore.  I pick up the phone, remind myself to drop the east coast speed talking, and turn up the southern tones in my Baltimore accent.  Somehow it makes me easier to hear that way.  It's likely the slowing down that helps the most, but by the time I'm done a series of calls my accent is the strangest mix of Baltimore and  Southern West Virginia.  I pick up the accent of really anybody I'm talking to.  I always have. Maybe it's a survival mechanism, maybe it's a gift given to folks genetically programmed to migrate.  Who knows, but I do know it is a bit easier to have a half northern accent sitting in my living room in Baltimore.

No matter how many medical calls I do, I don't stop learning new things, which is sometimes surprising.  More recently I have learned to say things like, "Do you remember what doctor diagnosed you with your cancer?" with as little gravity as possible.  It's a routine question and helping people be sad about their health actually doesn't help them.  It also doesn't help them remember their doctor's names which is important for the case.  There are times when I have to remind myself that helping the case is helping the client, even if I have to ask them hard questions.

Most people remember the doctor that diagnosed them with cancer, but the ones who found their kidney troubles are harder to remember. It's pretty logical actually considering that often a general practitioner is able to identify a kidney disorder and folks with health care see their family doctor for a variety of illnesses.   There's that and the fact being diagnosed with cancer is likely hard to forget.

I'm only working half days here and there for the firm.  The transition back to city life is quite curious.  When I lived in the mountains my life felt isolated, still and surrounded by a depth of beauty that was undeniable.  Don't get me wrong it was sometimes very lonesome.  Mountains are very much like islands-- far away from everything and not easily accessible without effort.  The cell phones work seldom, the internet works mostly and it's really hard to connect with folks who don't live or work with you for many reasons, of which the physical distance is only one.  

I have been looking forward to the diversity of the city for a while and the familiarity of friends and family.   Despite the proximity of my loved ones, I'm now rediscovering that I was always alone when I lived in the city. Even with people all around, the city is isolating.  The difference is, now I am at peace with solitude in a way I never was before.  

In fact, I sometimes wish there were less distractions here, so staying focused on my goals would be easier.  There are so many things to choose from in the city that the choices don't actually seem important. In the mountains what is there, is there and what is not there is equally evident.  Perhaps scarcity makes presence more meaningful.  

The city often wears the illusion of accessibility and availability. It seems like it's right here, yet somehow what's here is elusive.  Don't get me wrong I love being able to get Indian, Thai or Ethiopian food anytime I want when I can afford it.  However, with less choices how to spend your time is sometimes more obvious.  

I never figured out how to live well in the city, but I’m taking it as a challenge to master something new.  I miss the reassuring presence of the mountains standing firm still, and undeniable. But the mountains are great teachers and I am a faithful student.  So I plan to live like the mountains, in the midst of the city-- with a sense of certainty amidst the confusion.  Perhaps if I am lucky I will finally learn the language of the city whose accent lives on my tongue.

Leaving the Mountains

They say you never leave the mountains.  That when you go, you will never feel the same and you will return and return, like a moth to light.  I am preparing to find out.  In the summer I was amazed to discover how beautiful the mountains were.  In Appalachia there are forests of trees on the mountains, which is not true of mountains in Arizona.  I had imagined that these mountains would be most beautiful in the fall but really they are startling at every phase I have seen them.

During the summer the mountains resemble clouds. All the leaves layer around them in fluffy green masses and they look as if they would be soft to the touch.  Most of the time the mountains speak in a language of shadows and silence.  The greens change all day long as the sun shifts the pallet from light to dark to light again.  When I am lying under trees in the mountains I memorize their translucent layers promising myself to paint them when there is less work to be done.

Until the leaves fell, I did not realize that the leaves alone do not define the mountains. It isn't until the leaves fall that the mountains begin to reveal themselves in their own right.  Leaves fall one by one and in handfuls leaving scattered patterns behind.  In the hills where I live right now it is the Sycamore trees that lose their leaves first and they lose their leaves from bottom to top.  Some trees lose their top leaves first.  As the leaves let go the mountains take a different shape.  The sharp bones of sycamore trees mark the landscape with their white skeletons.

Eventually, all the trees are rushing to reveal their skeletons to the sky and they erect themselves stark against the horizon.  Both delicate and substantial, they stand upright and undeniable.  The true outline of the mountains lies still beneath them.  The rocks that make their home in the mountains body emerge before your eyes.  Sometimes they dot the landscape like secret beauty marks and you realize your relationship with the mountains is changing.  It is times like these I am reminded that what my grandparents said is true.  Some things you learn only with time.

I spend the most time with the mountains at dusk and at night, because otherwise I am indoors working with computers clicking names and checking boxes.  At night the mountains show dark against the deep blue sky.  Often the moon rises above them bright and beautiful.  The light of the moon shines free of yellow hues and the shadows cast are somehow more substantial than in daylight.   At night I walk the mountain roads with my shadow and gaze out over the skyline.  

Sometimes I take pictures that I hope will hold the mountain lines, the stunning blue sky and the moon looking over it all.  But there is no photograph that can replicate what my eyes see.  Just as there is nothing that can replicate the way my heart feels standing  on the edge of this landscape.  I can feel the mountains from where I stand. I hope I will be able to feel them forever.  

WTF Mountain "Top" Removal

It's funny that they call it Mountain Top Removal.  It makes it sound like they're just taking the lid off of something--you know, no big deal! We're just taking the top off.  

Actually, its way crazier than that and the word "top" is relative.  Generally in Appalachia what's on the tops of mountains, besides their tops, are streambeds, trees, plants and animals.  These are the oldest mountains in this country, so their habitats have had a long time to develop.

When they "remove the top" of a mountain, it usually means first they knock down almost ALL of the trees. Sometimes they actually remove the debris, but more than likely they push much of it down the sides of the mountains, which is referred to as a valley fill.

Once the trees and debris have been removed, it is safe to begin blowing up the mountain to get to the coal below.  The process basically destroys every living thing on the mountain that can't fly or run away, not to mention the valuable topsoil. There are pictures of mountain top removal where you might think you are looking at pictures of the moon, because that's how little life is left.

As if all of that weren't bad enough, usually the people below the mountain begin to get flooded.  Once everything on a mountain "top" has been "removed” there is nothing to slow down the rain.  Trees act like speed bumps for rain as it travels down a mountain and waterways act as channels for this rain.  It's common practice for streambeds to be completely buried in mountain top removal process.  And even though it's against mining regulations debris is often left in the stream channels that aren't buried.  

This means all the water that used to go down the stream is now coming down the mountains wherever it can. As you might imagine with no trees it's coming down faster than it ever has.

Now mining companies are supposed to create a channel system along the side of what is left of the mountain once they have “removed” all the trees and the "top".  This channel system is intended to slow down the rain.

However, coal is in high demand being that it provides over 50% of US electricity and mining is poorly regulated by the United States Government. Mingo County is also the second poorest county in the United States and there is a lot of coal in this county.  You might see where I'm headed with this but  actually I want to back track to talk about flooding.

Perhaps you think you understand what it means to be flooded and if you live in New Orleans you probably do.  Flooding in the mountains looks different depending on where your house is located and how close it is to a streambed.

I'd like you to think for a minute about every room on the first floor of your house having three inches of water in it.  Think about what appliances are on the floor. Now add mine waste and mountain dirt to the three inches of water. Imagine what this dirty water might do to everything it touches or how hard it will be to clean.  

Then imagine your children are standing in it.  Wait did I say three inches I meant to say three feet.  Your children are standing in three feet of dirty water and you are carrying the smallest one.  Are you scared?  Your children are too, because the water is rising fast and this never happened at your house before they started taking off the "top" of the mountain.

You may think I’m being dramatic but this is a story that happens to many people in mountain towns.  The three inches story and the three feet story are both true.  There are also six feet stories and stories of whole parts of people's houses being torn off by the impact of flood rains and mountain debris.  Families have had to rescue each other from rushing waters while watching their cars float away.  Interesting again that this gets little to no media coverage.

When someone gets water in their house even when it's gone, they have to fight to keep mold from destroying their entire homes.  Black mold is a really big problem out here and if folks don't have the resources to get it cleaned up fast enough; it gets in the lungs of whoever is living in the home.

So aside from being environmentally devastating mountain top removal causes flooding that mining companies try to claim are "natural" disasters.  Nothing natural about it though, if the "top" of the mountain where still around to protect the people from the rain.  Needless to say some people in the mountains are now rightfully deathly afraid every time there is a storm.

I know it's a little overwhelming to think about this or how it connects to you.  Unfortunately, some of your electricity comes from this process.  Additionally, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but mountains are instrumental in establishing climate patterns regionally and globally and nobody really knows what happens to the climate system when enough "tops" are removed. Are you afraid? Me too.

The news loves to make reports of "crazy hippies" chaining themselves to trees or mountains.  But every time I see them I think about how scared I am, and how much I love my family, and how much I love this world. Then I thank god that they are brave enough to love the mountains enough to do something about it. 

Imagine what the world would look like if we all defend what we love.  We don’t have to chain ourselves to things to do it but of course you can if you want to.  I’m pretty sure the world will get more interesting as we get more creative.  

There are lots of things you can do if you’re interested in helping with mountain issues.  You can donate to the Ohio Valley Environmental Coalition http://www.ohvec.org/ or support the work of Appalshop http://appalshop.org .  If there are mountains near you, you can likely even assist with flood relief.  Today I’m focusing on simply turning the lights off when I’m not using them.  It’s true that every bit counts!

Simple Prayers

sometimes

i am so angry 

and sad 

about the things i know 

and the things that are true.

yesterday a client called

whose family member 

is in the hospital

with yet another 

heart attack

the doctors wanted to know

what was in the water.

i had to be the one to read the list of poisons...

"there was arsenic in your water and toxic levels of the following:

iron, manganese... Yes I can spell that.

m - a - n - g - a - n - e - s - e

sulfate

s - u - l - f - a - t - e

barium

b - a - r - i - u - m

beryllium

b - e - r - y - l - l - i - u - m

uranium  

u - r - a - n - i - u - m

and this is when i get really mad

URANIUM?

I want to cry and spit at the same time

because this list is criminal

it started with Arsenic

has uranium in the middle

and ends with thorium.

even though i'm not at the end of the list

I can see where it's headed

but where it's headed 

you can't fully appreciate

until you have talked to hundreds of clients 

with failing bodies

radium

r - a - d - i - u - m

selenium

s - e - l - e - n - i - u - m

aluminum

a - l - u - m - i - n - u - m

and

thorium

t - h - o - r - i - u - m

Five elements on this list are radioactive

no amount of crying or screaming 

is going to change that or 

change the damage they do to a body

Not EVER. not  ever.

and it makes me feel small

and helpless

and sad

but my heart is healthy

so i put down the phone

cry for a second

and make my next client call back

i have never been more thankful 

for my healthy little body

and i pray so hard

that this

never happens 

to anyone 

again

i scan the next form

that gives the law firm

the right to argue on our clients' behalf

and hope that if we win this case

that this 

never happens 

to anyone else 

again

it's a prayer that lives in my body now

like the lists of their illnesses

the names of their family members

and the pages and pages 

of papers we have 

documenting

their lives

and

losses